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didn't look as horrible as he felt.
* * * *
"Hey."
Julian looked up at the smell of coffee and the sound of his lover's voice and smiled, uncurling a
little to make room on the porch swing. Hey, yourself."
Jack sat beside him, handing over a glass of orange juice. How are you feeling this morning?"
Julian had been trying to work that out for himself all morning, ever since he'd woken up to find
Patrick gone. All of his stuff was still in his room, which meant he hadn't gone far, or at least was
planning to be back, but he was worried.
All right, he was heartsick. I think last night was a mistake, he sighed, leaning against Jack's
shoulder.
Jack pressed a kiss to the top of his head, an almost absent gesture that made Julian love him all
the more for the circumstances under which it was given. How so?"
He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. Do you remember when I told you, a long time
ago, that I'd met someone on my eighteenth birthday? The man I thought I'd spend the rest of my
life with until I met you?"
"You were young, Jack soothed, leaning their heads together. You didn't know any better."
"That was Patrick, Julian told him, shaking his head. And it was that serious, at least for me. But
Patrick wasn't ready. He curled his legs back under him again, needing the comfort of the position.
Jack, I don't think we should have done that last night. I think he's still... he is still a little bit in
love with me."
Jack put down his coffee to wrap both arms around Julian, practically pulling him into his lap.
Apparently, he wasn't going to be allowed to escape so easily. So? he said gently. Aren't you still
a little bit in love with him? You seem to be doing fine."
God, Julian shouldbe so lucky, to have a lover who was so understanding. It's not the same. Yes,
a part of me will always love him but a bigger part of me, the biggest part of me, loves you. So
while last night was a bad idea and don't say it wasn't, I don't care how great the sex was in the
end it doesn't matter so much. I'm not going to fall apart over it, because I've got you to lean on. I
have you.... He sighed again, scrubbing his eyes with one hand. I have you to talk to about these
things now. Iam the one Patrick talks to. He doesn't have anybody. He felt terrible. For all intents
and purposes, he'd just rubbed his best friend's face in the fact that he, Julian, had moved on...
while Patrick hadn't.
Jack just held him tighter. Julian felt the pressure in his chest reach an unbearable level, and then
he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to let the tension flow out of him. Jack let him sit like that for a
few more minutes and then kissed the top of his head again. You want pancakes?"
A tiny smile crept across Julian's face. You can't make pancakes, he teased. You burn
macaroni and cheese."
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"That's why I asked you, Jack snuggled into his neck. Nice, fluffy, buttery pancakes, with real
maple syrup. Ooh, and breakfast sausage. What do you say?"
"I love you, Julian said, lacing his fingers together with Jack's. You're insane, and you're perfect,
and I love you. Also, I'm starving, and you'd better pray there are breakfast sausages in the fridge."
Jack pulled him to his feet and they went back into the kitchen. Julian started pulling ingredients
from the cupboards, brain on autopilot until he discovered the canister of flour was nearly empty.
He went into the pantry to fill it, walking through the laundry room as he did so.
There was a T-shirt on the floor, stained around the collar with about fifteen different colors of
paint. It was obviously Patrick's from his date with Brad clearly, those coveralls didn't cover as
much as they claimed. The knot in Julian's chest tightened, and he toed the garment into the dirty
laundry basket.
Patrick would be okay. He had to be.
* * * *
Brad parked his car in front ofBrenda's and took a deep breath. Patrick was waiting for him inside.
Patrick, who had not sounded good on the phone, was waiting for him inside. He took a deep
breath and got out of the car. He had to force himself to walk slowly in order to keep from running
inside. He didn't want to seem too eager.
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