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after a storm. The acrid smell of dye still clung to his scalp. His
limbs were tight around me dragging closer as his tears begged me
to leave.
AAaaaahhhh, nnnnnngggggh... His moans were like a choir
in a vast cathedral; echoing and ethereal.
He was young. I waited for him but he was so much younger
than me. The heat of him was glorious as I rocked our hips
together. It hurt. It didn t matter how well I had played with him
down there, he was a virgin in every sense of the word. He was
coming into adulthood under me. His nails dug hard into my
shoulders. The tension in his arms was making him shake. I drove
myself fully into him again.
Nnnnnggghhhh. His voice broke out loud as his neck arched
backwards into the mattress.
Is this too much? I held myself still as I was buried to the
hilt. The heat of our conjoined flesh was thawing my frozen heart.
I didn t plan on going this far today...
Don t stop....don t stop now...Trevor... Eyes the color of a
blue green sea opened. They glistened with tears. They shined up at
me.
There was so much going on inside that head of his. One only
needed to look into those azure eyes to see the daunting intelligence
and fighting spirit in this frame. It was a shame that this pasty pale,
224
Derekica Snake
chubby body housed such an indomitable will. One hand released
his claws from my back and snaked into my short shorn red locks.
His hand closed around the back of my head and he urged me
down closer to him with more strength that it looked like his body
had. His lips kissed at my ear.
You see me...don t you? You see the me that I am and you re
not afraid.
I circled my hips up against him, Erik...
I can see you...I can treasure you...if you don t trust&
aaaahhhhhhh, aaaahh. Trevor! Show me the you that you really are.
Let me see you. Treasure...let me see you. He locked his ankles
behind my ass so I couldn t escape even if I wanted to. I didn t
want to.
Erik washed the blood from my hands. He scrubbed the stains
from my soul. The black faded from his hair and the golden strands
began to gleam as it grew. It was as if he were returning light to my
world, day by day, month by month, inch by golden inch. Those
azure eyes looked at my core and for once I knew the peace of
acceptance. Oh, it wasn t blind acceptance. My Azure had a temper.
Little by little my rescued mental hospital patient restored what I
might have been. The yawning maw was plugged. It didn t scream
through the night anymore and if it did manage to re-open, the
warm arms of a golden haired man held me tight until the worst of
it was passed.
He treasured me.
Erik Howell treasured me so deeply that he couldn t leave me
living a happy life.
I had a scar and a hole in my past. I was tabula rasa. I was
content with my naivety then Erik came and stuck a gun in my face.
He tried to resurrect his Lover. He left me broken and confused.
He stole my life because I once stole his. No, I didn t steal his life, I
nurtured it, I let it grow as it deserved to. He would have withered
and died in that mental institution. The expressive lightening in his
eyes would have dimmed and one day it would have extinguished.
Erik would have been nothing but an empty shell, robbed of all his
potential because he didn t fit in with the norm of society.
Erik returned the favor I had given to him but the results of
the experiment were flawed. Instead of simply freeing me from the
doldrums life I was creating; Erik made sure that life was beyond
resurrection.
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My Hostage My Love
My Azure was a thorough boy. He fucked up the new life I was
living; he dragged my face back into the limelight; he re-awoke the
yawning maw in me knowing that he was the only one who could
fill it. Not Henry. Definitively not Olga. He cut off every avenue of
escape. Every direction I turned, he placed himself in my way so I
had no choice but to run into his arms-- eventually.
Once I had trusted him so completely that I had shown him
my vulnerable center and Erik wanted it back.
The face you would show me is not the face you showed the
world. His soft words hit me like a speeding car. I had reached
out to him. I had approached him like a puppy who wanted to be
owned but had only been kicked and driven off so many times that
hope was fading and all I could do was growl and snap at every
raised hand. Hit them before they hit me. I was a feral beast.
Erik. Beautiful, mercurial and oh so resolute, Erik who had
made my recent life hell, had taken in a pathetic, needy stray. All
those snapshots and mini movie scenes that had haunted me in my
dark dreams of remembering were real. He took me into his arms
and treasured me for who I was.
Trevor.
Just Trevor, me.
Erik accepted the good. He accepted the bad. He even took on
the mantle of my sins when I was incapable of carrying them on my
own. He had given me my TV commercial. For five years, I was
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