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She didn t say. She sounded a little spaced out.
Does Theo Crowe come in here?
Sometimes. Jenny wasn t volunteering anything to this creep. He was
rude, he was mean, and he was wearing enough Aramis to choke a skunk.
Has he been in here today?
No, haven t seen him.
Without a word, Burton turned and stormed out the door to his Cadillac.
Jenny went back to the kitchen, where Gabe, Val, and Theo were standing
by the fryers, trying to stay out of the way of the two cooks, who were
flipping eggs and thrashing hash browns.
Gabe pointed to the back door. It s locked.
He s gone, Jenny said. He was looking for Betsy and Joseph, but he
asked about you, Theo. I think he s going up to the Beer Bar to find Betsy.
What s Betsy doing at the ranch? Theo asked.
The Lust Lizard Of Melancholy Cove / 233
Something about making a sacrifice. That girl needs help.
Theo turned to Val. Give me the keys to your car. I m going after him.
I don t think so, the psychiatrist said, holding her purse away from
him.
Please, Val. I ve got to see what he s up to. This is my life here.
And that s my Mercedes, and you re not taking it.
I have guns, Val.
Yeah, but you don t have a Mercedes. It s mine.
Gabe looked at her as if she d squirted a grapefruit in his eyes. You
really won t let Theo use your car? His voice was flat with disappointment.
It s just a car.
They all stared at her, even the two cooks, burly Hispanic men who had
until now refused to acknowledge their existence. Val reached into her
purse, brought out the keys, and handed them to Theo as if she were giving
up a child for sacrifice.
How will we get home? Gabe asked.
Go to the Head of the Slug and wait. I ll either pick you up or call you
from my cell phone and let you know what s going on. It shouldn t take
long. With that, Theo ran out of the kitchen.
A few seconds later Valerie Riordan cringed at the sound of squealing
tires as Theo pulled out of the restaurant parking lot.
Skinner
Skinner liked chasing cars as much as the next dog, and they didn t get
away as easily when you chased them in another car, but despite the excite-
ment of the chase, Skinner was anxious. When he had seen the Tall Guy
come
234 / Christopher Moore
out to the car, he thought that the Food Guy was coming too. But now they
were driving away from the Food Guy and toward the danger. Skinner
could feel it. He whined and ran back and forth across the backseat of the
Mercedes, leaving nose prints on the window, then jumped into the front
seat and stuck his head out the passenger window. There was no joy to the
turbo-charged smells or the wind in his ears, only danger. He barked and
scratched at the door handle to warn the Tall Guy, but all he got for his
efforts was a perfunctory ear scratching, so he crawled into the Tall Guy s
lap, where it felt at least a little safer.
The Sheriff
Burton first noticed the Mercedes behind him when he turned onto the
access road to the Coast Highway. A week ago he might not have thought
twice about it, but now he was seeing an enemy in every tree. DEA wouldn t
use a Mercedes, and neither would FBI, but the Mexican Mafia could. Except
for his operation, they ran the meth trade out of the West; perhaps they d
decided that they wanted the whole trade. That would explain the disap-
pearance of Leander, Crowe, and the guys at the lab, except that it had
been a little too clean. They would have left bodies as a warning, and they
would have burned down all of Crowe s cabin, not just the pot patch.
He pulled his Beretta 9 mm. out of its holster and placed it on the seat
next to him. He had a shotgun in the trunk, but it might as well be in Canada
for all the good it would do him. if there were two or less in the car, he
might take them. If more, they probably had Uzis or Mac 10 machine guns
and he would run. The Mexicans liked to have a crowd in on their hits.
Burton made a quick right off the highway and stopped a block up a side
street.
The Lust Lizard Of Melancholy Cove / 235
Theo
Why hadn t he let Skinner out at the cafe? He hadn t been able to figure
out the electric seat adjustment on the Mercedes, so he was driving with
his knees up around the wheel anyway, but now he had an eighty-pound
dog in his lap and he had to whip his head from side to side to keep Burton s
Caddy in sight.
The Caddy made an abrupt turn off the highway and it was all Theo
could do to get the Mercedes around the corner without screeching the
tires. By the time he could see around Skinner s head again, the Caddy was
stopped only fifty yards ahead. Theo ducked quickly onto the passenger
seat and tried to call on THE FORCE to steer as they passed the Caddy.
The Sheriff
Sheriff John Burton was prepared for a confrontation with DEA agents, he
was prepared for a high-speed escape, he was even prepared for a shoot-
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