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by weeping on her soft shoulder, big snuffling sobs and scalding hot tears. She walked me into my apartment, heated the soup, brewed tea, and listened. Slumped in my favorite chair, Billy Boots purring in my lap, I told her that McDonald was out of my life and recounted the frightening mo ments on the plane. I thought he was the one, she said sadly. So did I. I sniffled, hugging Bitsy, who sat up, eyes concerned, her eager paws on my knees. I m glad you re home safe, my landlady said kindly. No wonder you re upset, after such an experi ence. You re having a delayed reaction. You need to eat something good, take a shower, and go to bed. Then to morrow take a book and go lie on the beach I I can t. I hiccuped. I have to go back to work tonight. Shocked and indignant, she castigated my bosses as YOU ONLY DIE TWICE 161 insensitive and unreasonable men who constantly take advantage of my loyalty and good nature. It wasn t true, of course. I am a willing volunteer when it comes to trouble. But I needed kind words and sympathy from someone who cared. Take a shower, she instructed, and I ll bring you a bite to eat. Oh, honey, she said at the door. I bought you a new toothbrush, too. I saw yours when I came to take the dog out and change Billy s sandbox. She shook her head. You should replace it every six months, at least. They don t make them like they used to, I said numbly. By the time I d showered and dressed, she had brought a plate of warm beef flanken with horseradish and potato latkes. The food, comforting and sustaining, didn t fill the empty place where my heart should be, but it was forti fying. I put on warm clothes and filled a thermos with strong Cuban coffee. I felt stronger as I drove back to the paper through the chilly night, as though I d found my second wind. Who needed sleep? How did the words of the song go? I ll sleep when I m dead. # 11 How novel. A great argument, Jeremiah Tannen said. The former boy wonder from the public defender s of fice was the first person I called. Now in successful pri vate practice, he specializes in criminal law. But it wouldn t work, he said, and I ll tell you why. You can t be tried twice for the same crime. That s double jeopardy. But a man wrongfully convicted of his wife s murder the first time could, indeed, be charged with her recent murder. It s not the same crime. It s a different murder, at a different place, on a different date, in a different jurisdiction. However, he continued, it would be fascinating, if he was convicted, to try to persuade the court to grant him credit for the time he served for the first crime, the one that never happened. * * * YOU ONLY DIE TWICE 163 R. J. s anger at Kaithlin s mother haunted me, as I cleared my desk of mail and messages. Why did he de test Reva Warren so? After all these years he was still furious at a sad senior citizen, now dead, whose only sin seemed to be working all her life to raise the woman he had once loved. Did she do more than meddle? Was it because she had testified against him? I called my mother, who had left multiple messages. Britt, darling. Were you out of town? Someone said something about a plane . . . ? Yes, I said, but it all turned out fine. Mom, when you worked for Jordan s I just heard the news, dear. R. J. s free! I know, I was there. I can t believe it! I was shocked. Did you see what Eunice was wearing? Chanel! She looked like an ab solutely different person. She s worn nothing but black since it all happened. I guess it was sort of a celebration that she has her son back. Mom, did you ? Eunice always had style, she said, but no business sense. Con was brilliant, generous to a fault. He led everyone to believe she was an asset, when in reality she was nothing but a self-centered clotheshorse. Mom, I m at work, trying to piece it all together. Maybe you can help. Did Kaithlin ever discuss per sonal problems with you, the animosity between her mother and R.J? That was all very long ago, she said, suddenly less talkative, and I m just on my way out. Nelson and I are attending a cocktail party for the Dade Heritage Trust; 164 EDNA BUCHANAN then we re off to dinner. I tried to place Nelson. She d had frequent escorts since she began dating after only recently, belatedly, coming to terms with my father s death. I won t keep you, I promised, but there are so
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