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Dad, it s not your fault. It s mine. I never told him not to cross at the narrows.
Amid the hubbub, Cary spoke up. If it was anyone s fault, it was mine. But Ryan knew just what
to do.
How are you feeling, dear? Maureen held Cary s wrist with one eye on her watch.
Better. Like I could sleep for a week.
Of course. Let s get you to bed. She shook her head. This is why I say stay off the ice! You
just never know. You could have both drowned, she muttered.
Holding the blanket awkwardly, Ryan crouched down to help Cary to his feet, keeping his arm
around Cary s back. We re fine, Mom. Really. We just need to rest now.
For a moment, silence stretched out, and they all looked at each other. Tony cleared his throat.
So& you sure there s nothing else going on? Because Maria s been saying for months that you
two have, and I quote, like, amazing chemistry.
It was Ryan s turn to blush. He glanced at Cary, who studied the floor, a telltale dimple in his
cheek.
Ah ha! Finally! Lisa bounced on her toes. Told you, Mom.
It seemed too good to be true! Oh Ryan. Cary s such a lovely young man and we re all thrilled
Um, can we have this conversation when Cary and I aren t naked? Ryan asked.
That would probably be best, son. Trying to hide a smile, Jack clapped him on the shoulder as
Ryan steered Cary toward the stairs.
Can we come in yet? It s cold! Amy cried out from the mudroom.
His family s laughter rang through the cottage, and as they made their way to the attic, Cary and
Ryan chuckled softly. Ryan guided Cary to the guest bed and tucked him in. But Cary reached for him
as Ryan backed away.
Stay. I m still cold. Need your body. You know, for the warmth.
I guess if it s a medical necessity, I can t really say no. Ryan couldn t stop grinning as he
snuggled in under the covers. Now sleep.
Cary nuzzled Ryan, kissing him softly, his eyes already shut. Okay.
* * * *
They woke to the smell of sizzling pork and what Ryan could imagine were crispy roasted
potatoes. His stomach growled, and Cary huffed out a laugh, his breath warm on Ryan s chest.
I think dinner s almost ready, Cary murmured.
You feel up to it? I m sure my mom will bring up a tray.
I think I m okay. Cary stretched his limbs and turned onto his side, facing Ryan on the narrow
bed. Feel a lot better than I did earlier, that s for sure. His expression darkened. I m so sorry. I
never meant for you to think that I don t want to be with you.
Really? Ryan s heart skipped a beat.
Really. Cary kissed him tenderly. I want you more than anyone I ve ever known. It s just so
new. My head is spinning. Up here it feels like we re in our own secret world. I can t help but be
afraid of what will happen when we go back to the real one. I know I shouldn t be. I know I should be
stronger.
No, no. Ryan brushed back Cary s disheveled hair. You are strong. I m afraid too. Afraid
you ll change your mind.
I won t change my mind. Cary rubbed their noses together. I want to be with you, Ryan.
What if we get back and everything s different? And your father pressures you, and Amanda
wants you back and
She s the one who told me to come here. Cary drew away, a smile tugging at his lips. She was
always jealous of you. Finally she told me to just man up and admit I was in love with you.
Ryan s breath stuttered, and his voice squeaked embarrassingly. Love?
Duh. Cary smiled and brushed his thumb across Ryan s bottom lip. Of course I m in love with
you. Have been for a long time. Amanda pushed me to admit it.
She s not so bad, really.
Laughing, they kissed, mouths opening and tongues twining. When Ryan pulled away a minute
later, breathless, he pressed kisses all over Cary s face cheeks, forehead, chin, the tip of his nose.
His stomach was all butterflies in the best way. In case it wasn t clear, I love you. I m sorry I
pressured you. I know you need time before we tell the world.
So you understand? It s not that I don t want to be with you, or that I m ashamed of you. God, I
could never be ashamed of you. You make me want to be a better person. A better man. I m so proud
to be with you. To be wanted by you. But the idea of coming out before I understand who I am? It
really scares me.
I don t blame you. I was being selfish. Insecure.
Cary held him tightly. Whether I m gay or bi, I m with you. That doesn t change. You re the
only one I want to be with. The only one I want to kiss at midnight when the ball drops. Or on Boxing
Day. Whatever the hell that is. His eyes crinkled at the corners.
Ryan s own laughter was like a balm. It s clearly a day when& I have no idea, but Canadians get
the day off work, so it s awesome. Definitely kissworthy.
Assuming you still want to kiss me, that is.
Ryan felt as though his body was filling with helium and he could just float away. I guess that
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