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applying the quiz questions to them.
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The phone on the stand beside the tub rang.
She sat up to answer it.
Something hideous and blue with enormous ears pinched her nipple, picked up
the phone, and said cheerfully, Suzy McAllister Sex for Less do you wanna get
laid today?
Then, while she was still screaming, it handed the phone to her and blinked
out of existence.
In the master bedroom of a nice little two-story bungalow in the northern part
of the state, Mac Garret and his client, Tanya Bayer Sidonns, soon to be Tanya
Bayer again, were screwing their brains out. Mac loved his female divorce
clients so many of them hadn t had attention in years, and if he so much as
smiled kindly at them, they were ready to do whatever he wanted.
Tanya wasn t bad. She was a nice enough looking woman, if a bit long in the
tooth but from the back, he thought, pumping away, who noticed teeth?
The phone rang.
Let it ring, Tanya muttered.
Uh . . . . huh . . . he managed by way of answer.
It rang again.
It didn t ring a third time.
Both of them froze as they heard the characteristic click of a phone being
lifted from its cradle. Then a rich, beautiful contralto said, Of course, Mr.
Siddons. She has her skirt up around her ears right now and her lawyer is
doing unspeakable things to her, but I m sure she ll be willing to come to the
phone in a few minutes. Would you like to wait until he comes, or would you
rather call back?
A
thing sat on the nightstand a disgusting blue thing with a malicious grin on
its face. It waggled its ears at them and said into the receiver, Ooop, not a
problem now! I think his willy went wooshy. Hang on.
It dropped the phone on the floor and disappeared into thin air.
In a filthy, seedy, city apartment, an answering machine rang the third time.
Earwax picked it up, but said nothing.
I thought you d gotten stupid and tried to run. Where s the stuff? The voice
might have belonged to
Godzilla. Maybe King Kong. The steroid monster attached to it, Earwax thought,
probably didn t weigh less than three, maybe four hundred pounds.
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The tenant of the apartment, at that moment, stoned out of his skull and
passed out in the bedroom, didn t top a hundred. Earwax said, I ll have it at
my place in fifteen minutes, you freaking pervert. If you want it, you ll have
to come in and get it.
Where the hell are you?
You don t know? Earwax frowned, blinked to the outside of the building, then
back in again. 534-D
Sunrise Terrace Apartments, on Beecher Street.
If you don t have it this time, you little shit, I m going to turn you into
sausage.
By all means, you pimple on the ass of the universe. Your father screwed
sheep and your mother went baaaa, Earwax told the thug, and hung up.
He adored his new job.
Chapter 15
Downstairs, someone knocked at her door.
Dayne opened one eye and squinted at the clock across the room.
Noon? she muttered. It s noon
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?
Paige hadn t been kidding when she said they were going to be up late over at
her place. Dayne hadn t gotten home until nearly foura.m. but she d had a
wonderful time. The man they d had over for her to meet had been very nice and
very funny, and if neither of the two of them were at all interested in each
other, everyone had still had a great time.
And the steaks had been delicious.
Porthos stood on the edge of her mattress, glaring at her. He took doors very
seriously, and obviously felt she damned well ought to go downstairs and
answer this one.
Another polite rap, then whoever was out there tried the doorbell.
Dayne rolled out of bed, pulled on the robe that lay across her reading chair,
and peeked out her window.
Oh, my God, she murmured. The man on her landing deserved to be in the
Babedom Hall of Fame.
He had great shoulders and a narrow waist. He had long, lean legs. He was
young. He was handsome.
He was leaving.
No-no-no-no-no! she yelped. She fumbled with the latch on her window, and
pulled out the nails to either side that pegged it in place, and pounded with
one fist all around the frame until the blasted thing unstuck, and shoved it
up, and leaned out, panting slightly.
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